Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Classic Rock

Having established my fogie credentials last time, let’s turn our attention to the greatest decade in rock ‘n roll, 1967-1976. These days, I spend most of my radio time listening to KVRK, the local Christian rock station, but when they’re playing something I don’t like, I’ll sometimes wander off to the classic rock station for a bit. Occasionally I’ll think, “that’s a good line, I need to start writing those down.” I’ve been thinking that for probably ten years. Now I finally have. With apologies to Robert Fulgham, here’s classic rock with you all you need to know.

Education

When I think about all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all.

Kodachrome, Paul Simon

Contentment

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
You get what you need.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones

Introspection

I can never see what’s right and what is wrong.

Amie, Pure Prairie League

Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned?
I know it sounds absurd, but please tell me who I am.

The Logical Song, Supertramp

You can travel 10,000 miles and still stay where you are.

Sequel, Harry Chapin

Everyone’s looking for something.

Sweet Dreams, Eurythmics

What’ll you do when you get lonely, and nobody’s waiting by your side?

Layla, Eric Clapton

All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Peace of Mind, Boston

It’s so easy to blow up your problems.

Moving in Stereo, The Cars

I want to know what love is.

I Want to Know (What Love Is), Foreigner

I was a prisoner of doubt.

Straight On, Heart

And so you finally ask yourself just how big you are?

Thick as a Brick, Jethro Tull

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man.

Carry On, Wayward Son, Kansas

I have become comfortably numb.

Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd

Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Rock and Roll, Led Zeppelin

So often times it happens, that you live your life in chains
And you never even know you have the key.

Already Gone, Eagles

Money

Money so they say is the root of all evil today.

Money, Pink Floyd

Helping Others

If I shiver please give me a blanket, keep me warm, let me wear your coat.

Baba O’Reilly, The Who

Feed the babies who don’t have enough to eat.

Fly Like An Eagle, Steve Miller

Life

I found the simple life ain’t so simple.

Runnin’ with the Devil, Van Halen

Don’t you know that you are a shooting star?

Shooting Star, Bad Company

Life is just a dream here.

Welcome to My Nightmare, Alice Cooper

Maybe tomorrow the Good Lord will take you away.

Dream On, Aerosmith

Save my life, I’m going down for the last time.

Never Been Any Reason, Head East

Be a simple kind of man.

Simple Man, Lynyrd Skynyrd

Talk is cheap.

Promises in the Dark, Pat Benatar

Relationship with People

Every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.

Sharp Dressed Man, ZZ Top

You better find somebody to love.

Somebody to Love, Jefferson Airplane

You can’t hide your lying eyes.

Lyin’ Eyes, Eagles

I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I’d love you to love me.

I Want You to Want Me, Cheap Trick

These cuts I have, they need love to help them heal.

Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me, Elton John

I get by with a little help from my friends.

With A Little Help From My Friends, The Beatles

I’ve been searching for the daughter of the devil himself
I’ve been searchin’ for an angel in white;
I been waitin’ for a woman who’s a little of both
And I can feel her but she’s nowhere in sight.

One of These Nights, Eagles

This thing called love, I just can’t handle it.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Queen

Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.
When you squeeze too hard, you’re gonna lose control.

Hold On Loosely, 38 Special

Teach your children well.

Teach Your Children, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Relationship with God

I never did believe in miracles, but I’ve a feeling it’s time to try.

You Make Lovin’ Fun, Fleetwood Mac

We were liberated from the fall that’s all.

Won’t Get Fooled Again, The Who

Jesus is just all right with me.

Jesus is Just All Right, Doobie Brothers

I got a friend in Jesus.

Spirit in the Sky, Norman Greenbaum

A new road’s waiting, you touched my life.

Feeling That Way, Journey

When the final light is over, and it’s certain that the curtain’s gonna fall
I can hide inside your sweet sweet love, for ever more.

The Story in Your Eyes, Moody Blues

You are like a hurricane.

Like A Hurricane, Neil Young

Your love has set my soul on fire.

Heartbreaker, Pat Banatar

I know I’m worth nothing without you.

Bargain, The Who

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