Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Classic Rock

Having established my fogie credentials last time, let’s turn our attention to the greatest decade in rock ‘n roll, 1967-1976. These days, I spend most of my radio time listening to KVRK, the local Christian rock station, but when they’re playing something I don’t like, I’ll sometimes wander off to the classic rock station for a bit. Occasionally I’ll think, “that’s a good line, I need to start writing those down.” I’ve been thinking that for probably ten years. Now I finally have. With apologies to Robert Fulgham, here’s classic rock with you all you need to know.

Education

When I think about all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all.

Writing lessons from two Dan’s

In the early days of the 80’s, Dan Fogelberg released a song titled Same Old Lang Syne. It was a straightforward “story” song, along the lines of Taxi or You’re So Vain. (No, there haven’t been any decent story songs in the last 30 years and yes, I’m an old fogie. Now get off my lawn.)

The song told the story of the singer running into a former flame in the grocery store on Christmas Eve. It is a bittersweet reunion, as they sit in their car and reminisce (they “couldn’t find an open bar”), and think about what was and realize that it is still “was” and will never be “is”.

Blind-sided

In Sandra Bullock’s new movie, The Blind Side, her character Leigh Anne Touhy has a scene where she has just fixed up the guest bedroom for Michael Oher, the 17-year old black young man her family has taken in off the street. There is just a hint of a look of self-satisfaction on her face — she’s doing a “good deed.” As Michael looks around the room, slack-jawed, he says, “I never had one before.”

“A bedroom of your own?” Leigh Anne asks, expecting a “yes,” thus confirming her good deed.

“A bed,” Michael replies, and you see in her face that Leigh Anne’s world has just been turned upside down.

The Liquor District

On a recent mission trip to Cambodia (more on that later), our LEADER, a former resident, was showing us around Phnom Penh. As we passed one area in the van, she said, “And over here we have the liquor district, where I spent many an hour…” and I thought “Reaaaaaly? That’s … interesting.”

And then she finished her sentence. “… shopping. They make great wicker furniture here, and there are a ton of shops just in that one area.” One of the guys behind me exclaimed, “Oh, good, I thought you said liquor!” I said the same, and we all had a good laugh.

Unoriginal Screenplay

My wife and I went to see Seven Pounds a couple of weeks ago. If you haven’t seen it and plan to, stop reading now and go see it. No, seriously stop reading now. You need to go into this movie blind. (Frankly, you should never watch another trailer again as long as you live if you really want to enjoy movies, but this particular movie even more so.)

If you haven’t seen it and don’t plan to, stop reading now and go see it anyway. Forget the critics, IMDB and I never lie.

Most of the bad reviews the movie has received is due to it’s being viewed as a Sixth Sense kind of movie, with a big “tell” at the end, except it isn’t that big and so a few people with high expectations give it grief.